I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
