No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
