6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Come share oat with me in your robe
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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