dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You brought string cheese to the strip club
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
