It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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