your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize