I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
