So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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