I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
