And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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