I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
why do cheetos always look like penises
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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