so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
