Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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