Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
