i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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