well you can't waste a boner
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize