Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
