Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
