Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
