i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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