I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
