What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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