Kiss
Puke
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
