Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
