She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
