Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
