I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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