So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize