We're like a lot better than the average bears
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
