Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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