Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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