You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
