just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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