organizing the empties. That sober.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
