you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
