if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
