Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
