Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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