would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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