he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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