If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize