every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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