Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
