So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
