i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
