I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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