wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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