just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
