All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize