Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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