that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
