dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
