I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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