Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
and she was petting her beer can
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
