just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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