Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
