I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
