Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
