Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
