I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
