kristin has been a bad kristin
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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