Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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