he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize