Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
